The Owl and 3 Js

My Italian dream is approaching nearer and nearer.. 4 days away!!  At the same time, still lamenting that I will miss the GE13 - probably the most exciting election in Malaysian history for a long time!!

Ya, WHY do things like these have to clash?  Amidst all the excitement and buzz, even prior to nomination day, I can’t help but feel the `loss’..  and just checked that my new polling station is the school in Cheras Perdana - down the road!  And if I could vote, for the first time, I would be voting for both Parliamentary and States Assembly seats!  Arghh…!!

But.. like what I told friends now, the excitement and joy of realising my dream trip again is still more than the disappointment of not being able to vote or witness the GE in person. Sure, I can keep abreast with all the news via Internet but it’s not the same..

It’s a dilemma that can’t be altered or change, so I guess I have to just accept it and live with it.  No point feeling regret over things that can’t be changed..

Some can say it’s like personal pleasure vs communal responsible.. but honestly, both are personal. Not that I don’t care for my country but I know that one vote would not amount to anything really, so it’s more like missing out of an really important affair..   so it’s also selfish in nature.

But back to Italy.. indeed I can foresee once I step foot on this land, the thought of GE back home would probably fade away.. may not be in oblivion but the desire of wanting to be back home would also be much lessen.  The feeling of being there in person and experiencing and enjoying all the sights and sounds and tastes and everything that comes my way would no doubt take away the loss that I had felt earlier.

Hit and miss. that’s the story of life sometimes..  might as well just move over misses and make the most out of the hits..  :)

Till I fly off on a jet plane to Italia.. 

The feeling of excitement and delirium.. but somehow with a bit of mixed feelings because of missing the General Elections. What a timing clash but guess I have to submit to it as such things happen. And I can’t help it.

Still I believe the joy of living out my dream journey will outweigh the disappointment of missing out voting and results. Oh well.. I am not born to be a true patriot or a political-minded person.

Much to do in the coming days.. finishing work, getting things prepared for the trip and also other activities and commitments.  Have to not waste time too much like I always tend to. Need to manage my hours and be focussed.

Time flies and always does..  So yes.. Italia, I am coming soon.

I’m leaving to Bali again - my 7th visit since 2007..  To Ubud, my second home of sort..  will write more hopefully.. 

It’s already 18th January.  For the first time in years I can remember, I did not set up and write down a list of resolutions of sort for the new year.  I guess as the years have passed, it showed that renewed resoluteness and aspirations for the beginning of a new year is none but a fast passing fad.. 

Why do I say that? Well, it has happened to me and it happened year in year out. No matter how noble and how inspired my resolutions sounded, and no matter how serious and determined I was at that point to want to achieve them.. the result was always the same.  99% failure.

No, I am not pessimistic by nature. In fact, I am the hopeless `the glass is always half full’ optimist and usually look on the bright side of things.  However, I know myself too well now..  even a reward of quite a handsome amount of money could not change my sleeping habit. What more a list of resolutions that have no tangible rewards but to rely on my feeble will power?

Maybe dad is right after all..  I am a hedonist through and through. Meaning, what I’m best at is to do things that I have passion in, and these things are usually enjoyable and pleasurable.  Like travelling, like shopping, like wine and dine, like going for concerts, like social activities, like playing with dogs..  you get the gist.

But when it comes to things that really require some serious effort beyond my god-given nature, I tend to struggle..  things like sleeping and waking early, go on a proper diet, exercise regularly, practise singing more, read and write more, and also doing devotion regularly …  these are good things and they can’t be considered things that make me suffer.  But still is not in my nature to embrace and do them well..  cos my nature is a happy-go-lucky hedonist who likes just to enjoy the pleasure of life.

Does this nature contradict to my faith? I don’t know. I believe everything must be done in moderation. God created the Garden of Eden for humans to enjoy, yet He also gave us responsibilities..  to be good steward of the garden.  Work and toiling came after the fall.. but unfortunately we are still living in the age of the fall.

Anyway, enough ranting for this post. So no resolutions at all? Perhaps I just think writing them down is redundant and pointless now. But in my heart, there are things I want to achieve and working towards, not a turning point over night but gradually, work-in-progress.

For instance, this week, I have exercised twice. And want to keep it up. I am not getting up later than 10 (though I lie in bed till later) now.. but I still sleep too late. Must make a better effort..

I started a devotional/spiritual blog in tumblr at the eve of the new year and it’s only to be seen by myself (and God) of course. And I hope to update it regularly.. and really meditate and pray and praise Him more.. with my heart.

Resolutions - it’s just something I myself promise myself. There’s no need to share or declare. And in my case, it may even work better if I `secretly’ work at them.. step by step without anyone’s judges or comments…

And I know..and God knows, that 2013 is a year that I’ve consecrated `junto Him’

Amen!